"Let Patience Have Her Perfect Work"

I read a lot of good things in the Ensign today. First I read an article in the June Ensign by Susana Lyou Mantle. The thing that stood out the most to me is this: "The more I trusted in Him [Jesus Christ], the more my life was guided."

This was so good for me to read. I have really been struggling recently and doubting the direction that I have felt that I have been given. I can't tell if it's really from Heavenly Father or if I am just being guided by my own wants. This helps me to understand that I just need to let it go. I need to accept the Lords will and His time frame and try not to think about all that I feel like I don't have. If I try to forget myself more it will show a greater trust in Heavenly Father and His plan for me.

A scripture has been going around in my mind all weekend, James 1:4.
"But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."

This just means so much to me today. I was so emotional at church yesterday. There were a lot of people visiting because we were hearing from three missionaries who are ready to leave on their missions. There were grand babies and families all around and Heather wasn't there. I want the opportunity to raise up a righteous posterity. I want to see what a child will look like who comes from Bob and I. I think that it is a desire that came with me from heaven. Maybe my Heavenly Mother taught me. Maybe it is a trait that I get from Her. I sorrow greatly over my inability to have this blessing right now. But I think that if I understand this scripture correctly that I haven't been letting patience have her perfect work in my life. I have been too wrapped up in what I want and feel like I don't have. I believe that my days, weeks and years are known to the Lord and nothing will be denied me if I can overcome myself and submit myself more fully to His will.

James 1:2-6, 12
"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed."

"Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him."

I just wanted to include all that I read that touched my heart today. I hope that I can apply these things to my life. I feel like they are rally inportant, that my eternal happiness depends on it.

I also read D&C 58: 2-6
"For verily I say unto you, blessed is he that keepeth my commandments, whether in life or in death; and he that is faithful in tribulation, the reward of the same is greater in the kingdom of heaven.
Ye cannot behold with your natural eyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the glory which shall follow after much tribulation.
For after much tribulation come the blessings. Wherefore the day cometh that ye shall be crowned with much glory; the hour is not yet, but is nigh at hand.
Remember this, which I tell you before, that you may lay it to heart, and recieve that which is to follow.
Behold, verily I say unto you, for this cause I have sent you--that you might be obedient, and that your hearts might be prepared to bear testimony of the things which are to come;"

Another message to be faithful in tribulation. A reminder to be obedient, that is why I came to the earth. I need to lay it to heart. I know what is true I need to cultivate my testimony so that I may bless others. I have always felt like my mission was to my family who are struggling with the gospel. I need to practice the things that I learn so that I may be an example.

I have a quote from the Conference Ensign May 2009 by President Uchtdorf:

"Discipleship is a journey. We need the refining lessons of the journey to craft our character and purify our hearts. By patiently walking the path of discipleship, we demonstrate to ourselves the measure of our faith and our willingness to accept God's will rather than ours."

I think that this all ties into the things that I have been feeling. All the things that I feel like I have to endure really are neccessary for the purification of my heart and the building of my faith. I need to accept the will of God in my life and trust Him more fully so that I can sense greater direction in my life.

One last quote from the Conference Ensign May 2009, President Uchtdorf quoted Elder Wirthlin who said:

"Oh it is wonderful to know that our Heavenly Father loves us--even with all our flaws! His love is such that even should we give up on ourselves, He never will.
"We [might] see ourselves in terms of yesterday and today. Our Heavenly Father sees us in terms of forever...
"The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of transformation. It takes us as men and women of the earth and refines us into men and women for the eternities."

Isn't this the most wonderful thing? Heavenly Father loves me inspite of all my flaws and weaknesses and even if I give up on myself He never will.